Non Canon One Piece RolePlay

NEWS
Hello and welcome to Strawhats! We hope you have fun and enjoy the site.
If you have any questions jump in our chatbox and ask away.
You can also join our site Discord chat here! *https://discord.gg/JhBS8Yy.*
Our current ongoing events is:
*Birth by Storm* * = links

Log in

I forgot my password



STAFF LIST
OWNER
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/admin_13.png
ADMINISTRATORS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/kaito_11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/deep_b10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/janito10.png
MODERATORS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/melly_11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/maveri11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/devrou10.png
DEVELOPERS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/ai_sta11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/noctis10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/risaka10.png
EVALUATOR
https://i.servimg.com/u/f42/18/53/44/60/sofiai10.png
BATTLE MOD
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/hannib10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f95/18/53/44/60/temps_10.png
Latest topics
» Notification Topic
Today at 6:43 am by RedHood

» The Eye of Truth [Event Item]
Today at 5:21 am by Lady Sofia

» Testing
Today at 5:19 am by Mugensan

» [Event] An Emerald In The Rough
Today at 4:58 am by Lady Sofia

» X-Mas Bazaar
Today at 4:30 am by Admin

» Lost at Sea
Today at 12:42 am by Aku Soku Zan

» Ice Locker
Today at 12:38 am by Aku Soku Zan

» Let's Begin (Social/Crew Start)
Yesterday at 11:00 pm by Grandest

» For My Brother!, and the Marines?
Yesterday at 10:04 pm by Jui$y Crow

Statistics
We have 322 registered users
The newest registered user is KSMI

Our users have posted a total of 22303 messages in 3265 subjects

You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 Grand voyage of Dai on Thu Jan 25, 2018 11:32 pm

Daimaru

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
Gran Voyage Type:Item (O Wazamono grade sword)
Gran Voyage Name:The great black market Capper
Gran Voyage Location: Skypeia
Level: 2
Gran Voyage Description:act 1: Daimaru while strolling through the business district of Skypeia spots a Fishman or woman running for its life. Insert character tries to help said runner, but sees an explosive collar on its neck and said runaway pushes your character out of harm's way. Dai gets a sense of curiosity and hears a lot of anti-human talk from the slave auction house owner. Telling them to dispose of the horrid beast it was of no use and feed it to the dogs. Dai then catches sight as one of the bodyguards following behind the auction house owner was carrying around on there back A o wazemono sword..My character will then go and gather up his crew and go out and investigate, and by investigating he means kicks some ass and finds out where his fishmen brothers and sisters are being sold.

Act two would involve getting into the auction scoping it out gathering intel, getting plans for the building, searching for any and all other possible ways into the building. Paying off informants if need be or beating out the information from workers.  

act three would be to get into the auction house and deal with security if necessary. Cut off communication with the outside, eliminate the guards if need be. if all goes without a hitch then dai and his crewmates will continue into the auction house and take place in the stands. he however eventually losses it when he spots a mermaid being brought out onto the stage to be sold to the next highest bidder.

The fourth and final act would be the final boss the bodyguard of the auction house owner who wields the the custom made o wazemono sword. Unable to contain his rage anymore dai moves down the aisle heading towards the stage.  His mind only on getting to the mermaid and freeing her and killing anyone who got in his way including the owner of the auction house. thus enters the bodyguard and the battle begins.
NPCing: Lightly staffed



Last edited by Daimaru on Sun May 27, 2018 9:33 pm; edited 8 times in total

2 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Sun Jan 28, 2018 4:18 am

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Alright.

1: I'm going to need you to separate the acts into paragraphs. It just feels jumbled up and messy. Then, I'm definitely going to need more detail on this. What's the name of the blade? How did come to be on Water 7? Give me more detail.

2: One of the moderators will be Lightly Staffing this thread, post as normal, every now again, they'll be prompt like posts to respond accordingly.

3 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:47 pm

Daimaru

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
Hope thats much better for you kaito

@kaito

4 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:56 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Go forth young padawan'

5 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Thu May 03, 2018 8:17 pm

Daimaru

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
Ready to be checked and redone on skypeia

6 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Sat May 05, 2018 10:36 pm

Batman4560


avatar
Considering the rank is correct to GV for this and it was approved before I'll give it a

1/2

@Kaito
@ai47
@Deep Bloo

7 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Mon May 07, 2018 10:01 pm

Daimaru

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
BUMPING for secondary approval

8 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Tue May 08, 2018 5:05 am

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
2/2 Roger Doger

9 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:29 pm

Daimaru

Pirate
Pirate

avatar

10 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:33 pm

Devroux

Admin

avatar
Taking this over. Going to look over the stuff and hopefully make a reply later today.

12 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Mon Jul 23, 2018 4:19 am

Devroux

Admin

avatar
Anything you've earned will be given when the rest of the voyage is graded.

@Yuurei

14 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Thu Aug 09, 2018 3:02 am

Lady Sofia

Vagabond
Vagabond

avatar
This GV is gigantic, and I’m proud that a voyage with so much PC interaction and length has been accomplished.

It’s been mentioned that “spam solos” are something we want to avoid, and that this is pretty much the type of writing we want to promote: It’s a whole cohesive story, with multiple characters and real meat to its plot. Despite that there are flaws in some of the writing, that factor mentioned won’t go unrewarded, so the prizes will look larger than normal.

I’m going to be grading it act by act. Also, I'm promoting this to a GV level 3 because it deserves it.


Daimaru


He had some time to kill so he thought He would go back to the ship

Wharehouse

One letter away from whorehouse.

It was difficult to read at times with capitalization, spelling and pause issues sprinkled all over your writing. Nonetheless, it wasn’t too hard to read, just teasing the edge of tolerance before I start deducting for it.


Anyways. It was great to see the description of his rage. At first it was, alright, he’s angry and all and it was just description of how he was this boiling kettle of anger, but then when released into his words towards those fuckers, it was enjoyable to see it all course out, and then his sheer wild, primal brutality in combat.

His hyperventilating continued and he was slowly beginning to turn blue in the face.
Isn’t his face already blue tho lol.

Beli: 30,000,000
Doriki: 1 - https://i.imgur.com/cPdKmG9.jpg
Prestige: 1 - Successfully brutalizing the shit out of some dudes in public.

Yuurei


Maybe it’s because most of the previous voyages I have graded for you have been mostly about Yuurei alone, but seeing him with another character - Koneko - was a pleasant change of place. I still have a hard time gripping onto what Yuurei’s about (besides his fetish for swords), but none the less, he seemed more alive than usual. Also, a few errors here and there but nothing above tolerance.

But yeah. Koneko seemed like a more interesting character than Yuurei, imo. But it’s overall alright, it was good to see him interact with other characters. Also, damn, the posts were thicc.

Yuurei was in love with the man’s sword, Yubashiri.


Beli: 42,000,000
Doriki: 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN7dYDYfvVg
Prestige: 1 - Gifting people the Bara Bara no mi. Except it’s not the Bara Bara no mi.

Gideon


Technical-wise, the writing was very good, I appreciate it. Your posts were a bit short though but that’s not really bad in itself. My grades are in proportion to length, anyways, so you’re not losing out on anything, just getting your proportional ration of rewards.

It was jarring at first to see him ignore the scandal that was going on below and start to think about baked potatoes. Then I saw him not intervene much in general after that, so I guess that’s just his character. I did miss a bit more action from him though, he just felt like this big background prop at times. He hardly says anything either, and often to just chooses to stay silent, I wished he contributed more to the story.

Regardless, it was alright. Not stellar, not horrible, but alright - just missing a little more relevance to what’s going on besides that he is big and silent.

Beli: 16,500,000
Doriki: 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyqyhrCfRrI
Prestige: 1 - Was hard to not see what he was doing.


Daimaru


Same technical issues as before, nothing new. But the roll of great storytelling continues. The jokes between him and the doctor was fun to read, as was the whole “awakening” sequence before then. Also, once you got into the real social part of it all where you got together with the PCs it was great that he was together with them, as his panache was included to what he was saying and it wasn’t just relaying of instructions like a MMO NPC about what had to be done for the mission.

Daimaru’s mannerisms in general are a pleasure to read, and it was great to read more about his backstory. It was good to see you and the giant get to know each other better. Weird capitalization and other issues as well, but nothing too extraordinary.

Beli: 37,000,000
Doriki: 1 - https://i.imgur.com/E3pG2NQ.png , expect things didn't go according to plan lol, but orchestrating it all has merit.

Yuurei


It was alright. Nothing too out of the ordinary, the overall tempo and quality felt very much the same to that of the previous part. You also go around and actually have initiative with a lot of things, going around between the different characters and moving the main action forwards, which is good. Besides that, the usual.

Again, Koneko makes for a more interesting character than Yuurei, who feels a bit like Ichigo Kurosaki. He’s there, he does things, but Koneko has more meat to her personality. Regardless, you did write her yourself, so, you’re the person rewarded for accomplishing Koneko anyways.

Beli: 49,500,000
Doriki: 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iaR3WO71j4

Gideon


Calm, chill giant. Plenty more introspective stuff, although he interacted a bit more with the rest of the cast this time, especially at the end, which was something I was missing and appreciate. Overall, the storytelling felt more fertile than just following what others were saying or reacting to what they were doing which seemed more common in the previous part.

"Well I was born on Elbaf" Gideon was initially hesitant on talking about his past but ever since he had opened up to Yuurei, he had gotten more use to talking about his past

Aaay, and then later on here we start to see him open up more, that’s great. Bless the heavens. Even if it was Daimaru who initially laid for the opportunity for it, that you took the chance to let us know more about an otherwise pretty stiff Gideon was very good to see. Was it deliberate character development? I’ll take it as such. It was excellent.

Beli: 22,500,000

NPC


‘Sup. You did pretty good too. *Fingerguns and winks*. Yeah, they did get fucked in the end, but it made things more interesting and difficult while not ruining the whole thing. It was great, keep it up.



Daimaru

Lolwhat you killed a pig for breakfast. Cool. Anyways, the usual weirdness in captialization and such. It was also great to see more talking and friendship develop between you and Gideon, as well as having his mannerisms and talking underline the graveness of the situation.

"If this is to be our last meeting Gideon I wanna say this it's been a pleasure getting to know you

Oh boy. It’s time, isn’t it?

"I bid 600 million berri and also a quick death to every single one of you scum which is far more than you deserve."

HOOOOOOOO. Nice one.



Beli: 27,000,000
Doriki: 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAYhNHhxN0A , then the moments were it was time to go ham.
Prestige: 1 - Pretty big scene you made there.

Yuurei


It was cool to see how you dealt with failure. The descriptions weren’t very storyteller-like, but nonetheless, it was pleasant to see a human side to Yuurei. Also, while you were in a cage, trapped, unable to do much anything, you managed to make it more interesting than just waiting in there and accepting your fate. Seeing you squirm and try to figure a way out despite the horrible situation was interesting. It was unfortunate that the NPC seemed to have been 48h’d or skippd or something, though, I would’ve liked to see Armstrong’s reaction to your questions.

It was a bit awkward that you were kicked out halfway through and couldn't get your swords and such, but oh well.

Beli: 36,500,000


Gideon


Likely because introspection seems to be Gideon’s speciality, but I really liked how you dealt with writing about how he dealt with failing with the mission. It felt realistic and I could feel the impact by reading it, it was easy to empathize with the character. This is the sort of situation where introspection is welcome to me as a reader, because it’s a time where the downer feeling was supposed to be the protagonists of that part of the story.

A bit of a pity that he was so passive during the actiony parts, but I guess that’s just his character again, and RPing a giant isn’t easy, given how you’re always so awkwardly huge.

Beli: 29,000,000
Doriki: 2 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBfb96BR4yU
Prestige: 1 - Big mess, big audience.

Total


Daimaru


Beli: 94,000,000
Doriki: 4
Prestige: 2
Item: Not rewarded.

Yuurei


Beli: 128,000,000
Doriki: 2
Prestige: 1

Gideon


Beli: 68,000,000
Doriki: 3
Prestige: 2

1/2

15 Re: Grand voyage of Dai on Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:15 am

Bojack

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
2/2
Everyone handled their business and Yuurei wore the backpack as usual good job all around

Sponsored content



View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum