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1 Oceanus Finding Himself on Tue Aug 14, 2018 2:45 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
Voyage Name:A New Look
Location:Impel Down
Participant(s): Solo Dolo
Description:Oceanus once a proud aquamarine color is now charred Red blister Wotan that been warped by Level 5 condition. Finally able to leave Level 5 he is now on his way to his new home Level 6 but as a new and improved Wotan. Due to his stay on level 5, his appearance drastic change making looks more of a demon than a half breed. His new appearance has sparked the interest of a few scientists on this level. Now he tries to adapt to his new home after receiving word of his execution and date of it.


Voyage Name:Good Wolf Bad Wolf
Location:Impel Down Level 6
Participant(s): Solo Dolo
Description:After being on Level 6 for nearly a month Oceanus is driven crazy as the pressure of this level is getting to him. The condition of barely being feed, and restricted of nearly all movement with the fact of being alone and completely dark. He enters into his mind an attempt to cope with his life decision thus far.


Gran Voyage Type:Story
Gran Voyage Name:Outer Body Training Method
Gran Voyage Location:Impel Down
Level: 1
Gran Voyage Description:
Deciding that he doesn't want to leave this world without fighting. Oceanus reach out to his mentor known as the Titian  Cetus for help. In the attempt to train mental his mentor teaches Oceanus the art of  Outer Body Training Method. The basis of this technique is meditation and as such, it looks like just that from the outside. It seems to require a large amount of focus.

From there he creates a mental image of their body composed solely of their imagination creating a spiritual body. It is important to make the image separate from their physical form. At this point, the user then needs to bring up memories of past opponents. As the memories surface illusions of the opponent appear and can be fought against for practice, or presumably, any other purpose.


NPCing:None

Boss:
Nep:


WANTED



Dead or Alive
Nep
87,050,000 - bounty

Nep is one of the first of many to have his entire crew become under the command of Diana. And among all of these crews his is one of the top. Though rumors say those under his command are incompetent he is not the same. A true leader and a true fighter. What is most laminated about him is that he is truly a brutal pirate that rarely takes prisoners.

Attributes: 4-2-2-2-4
S&P - E&D - S&A - S&W-P

Fishman Grunts:

S&P - E&D - S&A - S&W-P


Fish Man Grunts

10
Attributes: 1-2-1-2-1
S&P - E&D - S&A - S&W-P

2 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:10 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
La bump for review please

3 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Thu Aug 16, 2018 1:55 pm

Lady Sofia

Vagabond
Vagabond

avatar
The first two approved. I don't get the third one - is he like, contacting him physically? How would he do that on Level 6? Or is it all just mental fantasies?

4 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:04 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
Yes it is

5 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:04 pm

Lady Sofia

Vagabond
Vagabond

avatar
OK, approved as well then.

6 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:23 am

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
First Voyage

Here we go next one coming soon.

7 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Sun Aug 26, 2018 8:54 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
La Next Voyage done

Just finishing up this voyage last one is gv. That will be done within the next 2-3 days.

8 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Mon Sep 03, 2018 6:47 pm

Melly

Shichibukai
Shichibukai

avatar
Voyage 1.

Didn't make much sense, wasn't enough information on the reasoning why World Government scientists would bother doing anything and waste money and resources on you. don't use numbers when talking "Im gonna keep it 100 with you....." Your spelling and grammar are also hindering you again. I'm not sure if its because they were rushed or whatnot, try to keep an eye on that.

0 doriki
20,000,000 beli
0 prestige
0 bounty

Not entirely sure about the whole appearance change, but sure why not.

second one

It was a good premise, but I didn't really get the cracking of the mind that the voyage description gives. You need to try to work on different speech patterns and mannerisms for other entities you use otherwise they all blur together. Nothing really eventful happened in this voyage.

6,000,000 beli


@Lady Sofia
@Winged Menace
@Kaito

9 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Tue Sep 04, 2018 9:23 am

Devroux

Admin

avatar
If you app things together, you should try and get it graded together, just for the sake of keeping paperwork easy and streamlined.

That said, 2/2 on Melly's gradings of the voyages posted so far. Good luck in the final stretch.

10 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Wed Sep 05, 2018 8:10 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
Request:Grade my gv please.
Link:la topic

11 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:43 am

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
I also attempt to unlock ken haki.

12 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Thu Sep 06, 2018 1:15 pm

Melly

Shichibukai
Shichibukai

avatar
Grammar and spelling are becoming a main issue again.
In terms of the overall story, the execution feels rushed, there's very little set up. You just do things in your mind and don't really give off the impression of growth what so ever. In terms of Ken haki, I don't see it being activated in this method, there is no danger, no reasoning for it to actually become activated in a scenario where your effectively "making this up" in your head. The whole waving a hand for your "Divine power" was just too rushed. It was severely lacking from all perspectives, there was so much more that you could have done with detail and properly Segwaying through each section.


35,000,000 beli.
0 Doriki [There just wasn't anything that you really havent done before that would grant a boost]
0 Prestige


@Lady Sofia
@Kaito
@Devroux

13 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:37 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
la bump m

14 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Mon Sep 10, 2018 1:39 pm

Jui$y Crow

Marine
Marine

avatar
bump in, and out let go 2/2, and review of me getting ken haki

15 Re: Oceanus Finding Himself on Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:25 pm

Devroux

Admin

avatar
Not once in anything you've done or have been doing did I ever think that your character was the type to sit down and think, let alone sit down and meditate for an extended period of time. I don't know why you wanted to go this route, but not only is it hard to believe on a character-level, it was hard to believe on the written level. Melly was nice about it, so I'll go with what she said: It was severely lacking from all perspectives, there was so much more that you could have done with detail and properly Segwaying through each section.

As for your claim to Kenbunshoku Haki: Denied. Resoundingly. It's been agreed on before that dream sequences (which your meditation would count as) isn't going to be happening for the haki unlocks. It's too easy to spoon-feed yourself power ups that way and it's just a ridiculous way to go about it. There should be a physical movement towards the unlock.

I'll give you the beli, but that's because Melly's generous.

2/2

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