Non Canon One Piece RolePlay

NEWS
Hello and welcome to Strawhats! We hope you have fun and enjoy the site.
If you have any questions jump in our chatbox and ask away.
You can also join our site Discord chat here! *https://discord.gg/JhBS8Yy.*
Our current ongoing events is:
*Birth by Storm* * = links

Log in

I forgot my password



STAFF LIST
OWNER
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/admin_13.png
ADMINISTRATORS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/kaito_11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/deep_b10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/janito10.png
MODERATORS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/melly_11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/maveri11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/devrou10.png
DEVELOPERS
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/ai_sta11.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/noctis10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/risaka10.png
EVALUATOR
https://i.servimg.com/u/f42/18/53/44/60/sofiai10.png
BATTLE MOD
https://i.servimg.com/u/f62/19/21/38/42/hannib10.pnghttps://i.servimg.com/u/f95/18/53/44/60/temps_10.png
Latest topics
» Notification Topic
Today at 6:43 am by RedHood

» The Eye of Truth [Event Item]
Today at 5:21 am by Lady Sofia

» Testing
Today at 5:19 am by Mugensan

» [Event] An Emerald In The Rough
Today at 4:58 am by Lady Sofia

» X-Mas Bazaar
Today at 4:30 am by Admin

» Lost at Sea
Today at 12:42 am by Aku Soku Zan

» Ice Locker
Today at 12:38 am by Aku Soku Zan

» Let's Begin (Social/Crew Start)
Yesterday at 11:00 pm by Grandest

» For My Brother!, and the Marines?
Yesterday at 10:04 pm by Jui$y Crow

Statistics
We have 322 registered users
The newest registered user is KSMI

Our users have posted a total of 22303 messages in 3265 subjects

You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Mon Aug 13, 2018 11:18 am

Winged Menace

Revolutionary
Revolutionary

avatar
Gran Voyage Type: Item
Gran Voyage Name: The Scapegoat
Gran Voyage Location: Jordsland
Level: 2
Gran Voyage Description: Upon finding out that there is a pirate on the island subjugating others to find the ore for him or force them into an arena to fight for any food or comfort after a run-in with one of his newest groups Perila decides that she has had enough of seeing someone rob another's freedom, hopes, and dreams but more importantly not doing anything about it, so she decides to investigate for herself and eventually take down the famed pirate by going undercover.

Act 1: Perila searches the island eventually stumbling upon one of the larger groups of the pirate Gustahn, she then fakes interest in the stone and tries to steal it away ultimately ending up being beaten and then kidnapped.

Act 2: Upon being captured Perila is tortured for any information regarding how she got to the island and who she was with, she chooses not to talk ending up pissing off the captain and being immediately sent to the arena where she is forced to fight to survive.

Act 3: Three days after her torturing session with Gustahn and being sent to the arena Perila has earned up to a small reputation within the battlefield as "Violet Streak" for her victories, using this newfound reputation she slowly gains allies within the arena and Gustahn crew to stage a revolt.

Act 4: After gaining enough allies to cause a big enough ripple in Gustahn plan she initiates it at the dead of the night catching Gustahn by surprise, she and her newfound allies destroy his main ship by rigging small explosives throughout his main ship before her allies deal with the loyal remnants of his forces while she takes care of him personally, after the battle she will take the blade which would be the meito.
NPCing: Light Npcing



(Note: This voyage was already approved of, but I wanted to change it from story to Item please)

2 Re: Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:48 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Go forth and do the thing.

3 Re: Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Sun Aug 19, 2018 3:21 pm

Winged Menace

Revolutionary
Revolutionary

avatar
Finished

Attempting to unlock both Observation and Armament haki with this GV for a total of more than 10K WC count.

4 Re: Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Fri Aug 24, 2018 8:32 am

Amelia Velts

Vagabond
Vagabond

avatar

5 Re: Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Fri Aug 24, 2018 2:50 pm

Melly

Shichibukai
Shichibukai

avatar
This was

WOW

First, your pacing. Even with each post being large, the pacing of your voyage was excellent, it didn't felt too drawn out or too rushed. I honestly was really impressed. Well done.

Characterization

My only note, play around with different ways of speech for your npcs, a lot of it was kind of like Perila was talking. You have a good sense of creating persona's through description in the way people act, just work on the speech aspect and you will be golden.

Story

The story was great. I liked how well you worked it out, I love how you pulled in Mashyuu into this and did it well. The way Perila acts in each situation and the battles she fights in really paint a picture. From the voyage description, I was looking forward to seeing Perila in that kind of story, but her arena battles and the way you set them up was well done.

When ghost got involved, things got a little off track.

@Batman4560,

This is where the pacing got a bit off for me, she was on a boat, but you found her so quickly even after being badly injured and having just been patched up the day before, still recovering and wounded. More realism in this would have been perfect, taking more than a post to find her, panicking when you couldn't, these kinds of small tid bits really help create a realistic topic.

@Ghost your posts were a bit incoherant at times, hard to follow, work on that .

Perila

150,000,000 Beli
2 Doriki
2 Prestige
Bounty - 45,000,000 [you have been spotted with the phantom raider captain, you are now a WG target]

Mashyuu

50,000,000 Beli
1 Prestige
0 Doriki
Bounty [5,000,000] Expanding that crew, your getting the WG riled up.

Ghost
20,000,000 beli
0 doriki
1 Prestige
0 bounty

@Lady Sofia
@Devroux
@Odin

6 Re: Perila's Gran Voyage (Re-apping) on Sat Aug 25, 2018 6:13 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
@Melly wrote:This was

WOW

First, your pacing. Even with each post being large, the pacing of your voyage was excellent, it didn't felt too drawn out or too rushed. I honestly was really impressed. Well done.

Characterization

My only note, play around with different ways of speech for your npcs, a lot of it was kind of like Perila was talking. You have a good sense of creating persona's through description in the way people act, just work on the speech aspect and you will be golden.

Story

The story was great. I liked how well you worked it out, I love how you pulled in Mashyuu into this and did it well. The way Perila acts in each situation and the battles she fights in really paint a picture.  From the voyage description, I was looking forward to seeing Perila in that kind of story, but her arena battles and the way you set them up was well done.

When ghost got involved, things got a little off track.

@Batman4560,

This is where the pacing got a bit off for me, she was on a boat, but you found her so quickly even after being badly injured and having just been patched up the day before, still recovering and wounded. More realism in this would have been perfect, taking more than a post to find her, panicking  when you couldn't, these kinds of small tid bits really help create a realistic topic.

@Ghost your posts were a bit incoherant at times, hard to follow, work on that .

Perila

150,000,000 Beli
2 Doriki
2 Prestige
Bounty - 45,000,000 [you have been spotted with the phantom raider captain, you are now a WG target]

Mashyuu

50,000,000 Beli
1 Prestige
0 Doriki
Bounty  [5,000,000] Expanding that crew, your getting the WG riled up.

Ghost
20,000,000 beli
0 doriki
1 Prestige
0 bounty

@Lady Sofia
@Devroux
@Odin


Stamped and Approved. Well done. Request for Haki Unlock Approved. Buso Only.

Meito Awarded.

Sponsored content



View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum