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1 Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice on Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:41 am

Ghost

Pirate
Pirate

avatar
Voyage Name:Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice
Location:Jorsand
Participant(s): (Arcologia will help the marine take revenge on the rebels from their lastest attack. Good news is he or is not acting like the Mad Hatter or is he. This will take the view from a another point of view

2 Re: Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice on Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:07 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Approved go forth.

3 Re: Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice on Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:36 am

Ghost

Pirate
Pirate

avatar

4 Re: Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice on Tue Aug 21, 2018 6:56 am

Amelia Velts

Vagabond
Vagabond

avatar
Hey there ghosty, I'll be your grader. So connecting this to the other ten parts this was, in my opinion, a well-written thread with you being in a dazed state remembering how you and your precious Alice meant and the ongoings of your relationship as you progressed in your piracy ways that I felt added realism to your life with her and the struggles of being a pirate yet trying to start a love life, leading up to the breakup and eventually finding out she was pregnant and had your child which was the main reason she left.

All in all, there were not that many grammar errors and I thought it was a good read, the combat part of the thread left a lot to be desired, otherwise nice job.


18,000,000M Beli

+1 Prestige (For helping take out a bothersome pawn of the revolutionary army for good)

0 Bounty (Since you're with Melly and working for marines I'm assuming they froze your bounty)

0 Doriki (The end combat lacked a lot for me)


2/2 @Lady Sofia, @Judan, @Odin, @Sym

5 Re: Chapter 11: How Mad Is Justice on Wed Aug 22, 2018 5:58 am

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Grace Vermilion wrote:Hey there ghosty, I'll be your grader. So connecting this to the other ten parts this was, in my opinion, a well-written thread with you being in a dazed state remembering how you and your precious Alice meant and the ongoings of your relationship as you progressed in your piracy ways that I felt added realism to your life with her and the struggles of being a pirate yet trying to start a love life, leading up to the breakup and eventually finding out she was pregnant and had your child which was the main reason she left.

All in all, there were not that many grammar errors and I thought it was a good read, the combat part of the thread left a lot to be desired, otherwise nice job.


18,000,000M Beli

+1 Prestige (For helping take out a bothersome pawn of the revolutionary army for good)

0 Bounty (Since you're with Melly and working for marines I'm assuming they froze your bounty)

0 Doriki (The end combat lacked a lot for me)


2/2 @Lady Sofia, @Judan, @Odin, @Sym


I will say this Ghost, your writing is certainly improving and it's interesting to see people focus on romance within the OP World which is usually overlooked, Going to drop this down to 15M though, it was truly rushed in terms of the combat aspect but the story-telling was indeed entertaining.

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