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1 Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Thu Aug 02, 2018 3:54 pm

Kincaid


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Gran Voyage Type: Story/Crafting (sort of?)
Gran Voyage Name: Did They Really Freeze Him?
Gran Voyage Location: Jaya Island - Long Ring Long Land
Level: 2
Gran Voyage Description:
Act I:
Having heard about the Ten Heavens of the World, Cyrus takes the ferry from Jaya to the Long Ring Long Land islands. He disembarks on the first island, Ring World, looking for a nice relaxing vacation and to have a little fun. Instead he finds impressive constructions that fill him with amazement and wonder. Steam powered creatures, not human nor alive, yet not simple objects either. He digs into the history of the place a bit more to uncover the truth behind who created not only these robots but these parks as well.
Act II:
Deciding he wants to have a little chat with the inventor of this wonderful place and his machines, Cyrus jumps on the train to head towards the 10th island and where William the Creator's fabled workshop supposedly is. However, as they pass through the 5th island, Cyrus notices the island is explicitly closed to guests. There are several patrols of Marines about working on the island and entering/exiting tents propped up to keep something hidden from the public. Naturally Cyrus's curiosity gets the better of him and he decides to disembark from the train promptly to investigate.
Acti III:
Having discovered what the Marines were hiding from the public, Cyrus is now convinced more than ever that he needs to meet this great creator and hitches a ride on the top of the next train heading for the island; this time dressed as a Marine. It'll be risky, dangerous, and most likely downright stupid to simply walk into a Marine base, but maybe, just maybe he'll be able to convince this great Creator to change teams.
NPCing: Light/Moderate

Note: I will need to either be informed by staff what the secret on Island 5 is or just be told I'm free to make it up as I please. Thank you.



Last edited by Kincaid on Thu Aug 02, 2018 8:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

2 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Thu Aug 02, 2018 8:25 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

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Go forth Kincaid's back *__*

3 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:10 pm

Kincaid


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4 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:19 am

Lady Sofia

Vagabond
Vagabond

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The template is annoying as mentioned before.

On the technical and storytelling front, your writing is great as always so there isn't much to really say there. It's funny and it's got good flow, and I look forwards to the jokes, which never fail to deliver.

Yet still people wobbled off the ride and jumped right back in line, wiping the excess vomit from the corners of their mouths. Cyrus wasn't sure if he was in an amusement park for families or a holding ground for masochists.

Like holy shit.

Anyways, normally a bumbling, failing character isn't all that interesting, but you manage to make it the opposite because of the wacky situations he gets in. I look forwards to the next misadventure.

Beli: 40,000,000
CP: 20 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEkrWRHCDQU

1/2

5 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Thu Aug 09, 2018 9:52 am

Kincaid


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Thanks for the praise Sofia but this isn't done haha

I applied for an NPC to finish it out. The ending post has Cyrus standing in front of the door to a workshop in the middle of a Marine HQ/Factory haha

6 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:05 am

Lady Sofia

Vagabond
Vagabond

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Oh lol, I was bamboozled by the link there. I thought you wanted a grade already, sorry about that.

7 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:10 am

Kincaid


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It's all good, I'll never be upset about a staff member grading things haha


Restating this at the bottom to make staff life easier because the topic is now done

8 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:58 pm

Kaito

Supernova
Supernova

avatar
Though I can't grade this as a Level 2 GV, I must say, NPCing and even reading the setup of all of these interactions was golden. I get a keen sense of Cyrus's role in the Army, trying to cement himself as the guy that get's things done. Even going knee deep in marine territory. Though, that was it, they're was no immediate danger at all towards him really, his alibi though credible, could've been much more scrutinised especially in loom of a mass robot murder.

Beli: 60,000,000
CP: 30 (In light of what you stole, you got this downpack)
Prestige: 2 (Mission technically wasn't completed but grounds were made)
Doriki: 1

@Hannibal
@Melly
@Devroux
@Lady Sofia

9 Re: Did They Really Freeze Him? [GV] on Tue Aug 14, 2018 6:35 pm

Aku Soku Zan

Marine
Marine

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2/2

I agree with everything stated by Kaito. It was a excellent read. And I hope to see more Rev actiictly like this. Rewards added.

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